The feeling that you get when you leave someone you know is not right for you is different for everyone. For me it was liberating. Everything that happens from that moment on is a chance to redefine who you are and what you are. In fact every moment irrespective of your past is a new moment to redefine and find out who you are.
But the process of redefining who you are takes time. It takes time to let go of the destructive and negative thoughts and images that were in place for so long. It takes time to see what truly was right and what was wrong. Every moment is an opportunity to learn.
I am now learning to have fun. I am now learning to be funny again. I am learning to relax with my life and with those around me... but its not always easy. I sometimes still get caught up with being over analytical - a tool which I had to put into place to try and survive in my last relationship.
I am a thinker - I am sensitive to life and those around me but for 12 years I over-thought and I became over-sensitive and now I am learning to recalibrate. I am working on finding my balance. Yes I still make mistakes but I'm hoping that as long as I am open and honest about my journey those around me will understand.
So this is what I do when I need some perspective:
1 - Yoga: When I'm on the mat its one of the few places where my brain is totally quiet.
2 - Be kind to myself: I try and tell myself that I can't undo 12 years in 1 year. It will take time and I will get there. In the meantime be kind to myself.
3 - Connect: Spend time with those that mean the most to me and remind me of where I've come from and where I'm going.
4 - Smoothies: I make myself a raw chocolate and banana smoothie.
5 - Escape a little: I read books that make me feel good and watch movies that have a happy ending. Cliche but it works.
I do things that are light, easy and calming. They make me happy.
...and in the meantime when things get too much I just remind myself that I'm only human and I'm working on it.
p.s. If you've had any experiences like the ones I talk about or you can relate to I'd love to hear from you either in the comments or by email xx